Lessons

I wonder if parents know the trauma and pain they inflict on their child. Shits wild because the shit that means nothing to you, means everything to them. I remember sitting on the curb, waiting on my dad to come pick me up for the weekend. He never came. My 1st everlasting pain. 1st dose of abandonment and rejection....I’ve never really liked that lesson. I’m learning it still. Surely not by choice but this lesson itself has altered my decision making. I can’t tell who’s faking or making a fool of me. Maybe no one is faking and I’m making a fool of myself. See what I’m talking about. This battle is a no win situation. A constant confrontation. Between heart & mind. -L’ Mo

Hurt

Everyday the thought of you will become less and less. Everyday the thought of you I will be less of a mess from crying over you. I never knew this would be this hard. All while with you, I wanted to be apart. Now I just want to be a... part... of your daily routine. Who knew I’d miss the little things. Little things like the good morning text. The late night sex. A call or a text just to check on how my day was going. Although you never knowing I wanted out! Not cause of you, but really because of me. I needed to heal. And I knew it wouldn’t get accomplished while involved with you. So I did what I do best. I sabotaged the relationship. I never meant to hurt you. I put that on everything I love. But pain isn’t fair when it comes to love. Doesn’t matter who did what part. All that’s irrelevant when it comes to matters of the heart. Doesn’t really matter who’s to blame. Because at the end of it all, we both feel the same. Hurt. -L’ Mo

Mommas Boy

Mommas boy, mommas boy. Everybody says that’s mommas joy. But in this particular case that’s mommas toy. She plays with his emotions at will. He accepts what she’s giving as long as he can feel. Feel some kind of love. Any kind of compassion. All of his life, that’s all he’s been asking. She’s never really given it to him though, but she gives it to his son. And all he’s ever wondered is what has he done. What did he do to deserve such pain. Maybe she blames him and she’s ashamed. Maybe she blames him for becoming a teen mother. Maybe she blames him cause his father moved on to another. Maybe she blames him for not succeeding in life. Maybe blaming him makes it easier to sleep at night. But by no means does this make it right. It does on the other hand makes for a clearer sight. Same age, same height those women are his type. Couldn’t get it at home, so he sought it from others. All this boy has really been looking for is A mother. -L’ Mo